Turn towards connection.
Small acts of kindness.
- When you have a child it is important that you keep cultivating this connection, letting your partner know that they are still a priority. This can take the form of simple day to day interactions such as greeting them warmly when they enter the room, asking questions about how their day went or small acts of care like a hug or making dinner.
Schedule in time for intimacy both physical and emotional.
Find enough support outside of the relationship.
- Make sure that you feel resourced enough to give the best of yourself to your partner more of the time. Again Professor Gottman’s research on happy couples suggests that there should be five positive interactions for every negative one. Taking care of yourself for example by having a daily meditation practice and a group of friends who love you can help you to stay emotionally healthy. This wellness will overflow into your partnership.
Lean in to each other the right amount!
- Our attachment needs do not go away when we reach adulthood, relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson states, “Emotional dependency is not immature or pathological; it is our greatest strength…. Far from being a sign of frailty, strong emotional connection is a sign of mental health. It is emotional isolation that is the killer.”. Being in a secure attachment relationship has physiological as well as emotional benefits such as lowering blood pressure and instances of depression and anxiety. We have evolved to associate our attachment relationships with survival
